"Where Are You From?"
I've lived in the United States of America since the second grade. True to the Asian American experience, two questions have followed me all my life. Question 1--How do you pronounce your name? Question 2--Where are you from?
Being the obedient Chinese that my parents raised me to be, I answer the asker without hesitation. "Ja Ja...I was born in Taiwan."
After the 1990s people stopped complimenting me on how well I speak English. There is cultural awareness, y'all!
Fast forward 20 years. I'm less obedient and more rebellious now.
This guy on Tinder with an Italian first and last name asked me via text, "What part of Asia are you from?" This was the first thing he texted. I read his text with an innocent, I-just-wanna-know tone.
"California," I texted back. "The southern part."
Then radio silence for the next twelve minutes.
Men ask me where I'm from all the time. White men ask me way more often than men of color. Women don't ask me where I'm from. Women find out about my heritage and background after having several conversations with me.
Also, Latino men ask me where I'm from. They hear me speak Spanish with a quasi Mexican accent. (I'm non region specific.) One time I told this Latino I was Quechuan (Indian) from Ecuador. Since he didn't ask me any more questions, I concluded that he believed me.
I like that I can keep people guessing. It's the small things in life.
Aside from being more rebellious, I'm also sassier now. I want to ask those inquiring white male minds my series of questions after their weighted "Where are you from?"
Why do you want to know?
Why do you need to know?
Why do you feel entitled to ask me where I'm from? Where I'm from originally?
And conclude with "I've known you for less than 5 minutes" delivered in a protracted tone.
Then when they develop that pained look on their face, feeling wounded when all they were doing was showing interest in me, I'll ask this final question.
Why do you assume I'm not American born? My English is perfect.
If I want to keep him around, I'll suggest to him gently, "How about you spend some time getting to know me? The answers will reveal themselves."
About that Italian guy who just wanted to know? I trusted my gut and told him we wouldn't work out.
Being the obedient Chinese that my parents raised me to be, I answer the asker without hesitation. "Ja Ja...I was born in Taiwan."
After the 1990s people stopped complimenting me on how well I speak English. There is cultural awareness, y'all!
Fast forward 20 years. I'm less obedient and more rebellious now.
This guy on Tinder with an Italian first and last name asked me via text, "What part of Asia are you from?" This was the first thing he texted. I read his text with an innocent, I-just-wanna-know tone.
"California," I texted back. "The southern part."
Then radio silence for the next twelve minutes.
Men ask me where I'm from all the time. White men ask me way more often than men of color. Women don't ask me where I'm from. Women find out about my heritage and background after having several conversations with me.
Also, Latino men ask me where I'm from. They hear me speak Spanish with a quasi Mexican accent. (I'm non region specific.) One time I told this Latino I was Quechuan (Indian) from Ecuador. Since he didn't ask me any more questions, I concluded that he believed me.
I like that I can keep people guessing. It's the small things in life.
Why do you want to know?
Why do you need to know?
Why do you feel entitled to ask me where I'm from? Where I'm from originally?
And conclude with "I've known you for less than 5 minutes" delivered in a protracted tone.
Then when they develop that pained look on their face, feeling wounded when all they were doing was showing interest in me, I'll ask this final question.
Why do you assume I'm not American born? My English is perfect.
If I want to keep him around, I'll suggest to him gently, "How about you spend some time getting to know me? The answers will reveal themselves."
About that Italian guy who just wanted to know? I trusted my gut and told him we wouldn't work out.
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